Tornado Safety

Tornado Safety

Since I’m Okie born & bred, I consider myself an expert on tornado safety. Let me share some advice I’ve picked up over the years.

Get in the hallway or the most central located part of your home. Stay away from doors & windows. Make a pallet and put a mattress up against the wall where you can kick it down on top of you when the storm hits. This is assuming you have ample warning.

Gather family and keep them from panicking. Try to eat beforehand and have water close by in case you get buried. You live in Oklahoma, your neighbors would dig you out before too long anyway. Have cell phones and devices nearby, with chargers.

Do not attempt to keep stuffed animals alive by throwing them in the bathtub. Stuffed animals are not in fact alive.

You will hear the wind ripping and tearing. It will sound like the ground is opening. You will feel pressure. Now it’s time to kick the mattress down. Pets are people too. It’s not always comfortable under a mattress with your child(ren), hubby, and 2 guinea pigs.

Try to relax and don’t get claustrophobic. You will be there a while. It is likely that someone will fart while under the mattress. It will take all your willpower not to kick their nasty ass out to the mercy of the tornado. Don’t. You love them. Your just hot & miserable.

Listen to the television. It will be muffled under the mattress, but at least you’ll know what’s going on. Until you’re power goes out. Now you’re screwed.

Make a documentary under the mattress. It will distract the child who is now panicking full blown.

Listen helplessly to your house being torn apart.

When the wind subsides, send the husband out to check if its safe to come out. Prop you’re mattress up so that you can get back under if necessary.

Check to see if the whole block is out of power. Crap, it’s the whole city! Resign yourself to the fact that you will be without power for 1-3 days. Dammit.

Light some candles. It’s dark now. Go to the refrigerator. Stick a spoon in the ice cream gallon, tell your child to eat as much as they want. If they are too scared to eat, remind them that it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Try to convince family members to gorge themselves on milk, cheese, and any other items that will have to be thrown away. Convince yourself that you are allowed to pig out too. Diet schmiet.

Try to locate all family members. Typically, your phone won’t work at the same time as theirs. Text rather than call. Try to find someone with power, who can tell you if any more cells are heading your way.

Look outside to see that there are small objects floating down your street. Great, a flash flood. Resign yourself to the fact that you are without electricity, cell service, and you may not be able to leave your neighborhood for days.

Take photos. It will make good material for your blog. You are gonna get so many hits. But hurry! Conserve your battery!

Call a family member 3 hours away to see if it’s safe to go to bed. Put a mattress against the window. Sleep with husband, child and guinea pigs. You never know what will happen. Hold sweaty child so she doesn’t get scared when thunder shakes the ground and lighting fells more trees.

Lay awake all night because you can’t sleep without your iPad. The battery is long dead by now, so you are charging it in the truck. Mourn.

Get up and fumble around. You have a headache, so dig in the medicine cabinet for Excedrin. Use the light of your cell phone. Oops, that didn’t taste like Excedrin. Was that stool softeners?

Yup, it was stool softeners. A couple sweaty hours later, you will need to poop. Hold it as long as you can. Your cell phone is long dead now, & it is certain that Freddy Krueger is behind your curtain.

After another hour, realize that not even Freddy will want to witness what’s about to go down in your bathroom.

***
Wait for daylight. Go outside and check on your neighbors. Take more pictures. Wait for hubby to set up generator.

Try to muffle the sound of your generator. Everyone will hear it and knock on your door with cell phones in hand, asking to bum electricity. You will oblige, because you are an Oklahoman, and you help people. But the selfish monster inside you wants to hoard the electricity all to yourself. Remind yourself that these are the people who would dig you out of your home if you had been buried. They are Oklahoman too. They would’ve ripped you’re house apart, nail by nail to make sure you got out safe.

Prepare yourself to take a shower without light. The generator can only power so much, and with 15 cell phones, the fridge & TV- you will need to bathe in darkness. Remind Freddy what you are capable of.

***
Maybe you guessed it? We got hit by several tornados last night. We are all okay. 80,000 including myself are without power. Only in Oklahoma can your state be hit with something like 29 tornados in 24 hours.

Update: Still no power. I’m milking this tornado thing, loving all the attention :) But I haven’t been able to get around much & visit blogs. I’m powering the iPad from the phone, and it’s just too slow. I’ll be back soon though, don’t give up on me!!!!

About The Author

Amy Mayen

Hello. I'm Amy and I'm addicted to sewing. I borderline-hoard fabric, buttons, & patterns. Sometimes I wish I could pile my fabric up on the floor and just roll in it!

17 Comments

  1. Fine Craft Guild

    Hollymolly! Incredible! What an amazing writer you are! And what a story. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  2. Sharon G

    Oh Amy, we may be neighbors! Or you may be a neighbor of one of my children & their families. As you know by now, it has rained every night since the 1st & the ability to get out of Dodge gets smaller every minute. Yes, we will dig you out. Thanks for making me smile about all this mess.

    Reply
  3. Suzan

    FIRST of all I’m so happy you’re ok – and made it through all of that
    Secondly – you are hilarious – and I felt guilty laughing actually – but someone of it is LOL funny!!!
    XOX

    Reply
  4. Amanda

    I’m glad to hear that you’re all doing ok! I love the picture of the huge teddy bears in the tub, I almost bought one for my dogs… Guess it could have come in handy! ;)

    Reply
  5. Ashley

    Hello There, my name is Ashley and I am stopping by to say hello. I am loving your blog and the great posts you are putting out there.

    Thanks so much.

    If you have some free time would you mind stopping by our blog as well at: http://www.ashleychapmandesigns.com/blog

    We have an awesome giveaway running right now and a winner will be chosen at random on June 15. Why not come join the party!

    We would really appreciate it.

    Ashley

    Reply
  6. Jessica

    Wow! I liked your take in tornado safety. I was in one once a long time ago in Florida. Now I live in TX. Knock on wood, we don’t get hit with one here in San Antonio, but then again who knows! Thanks for sharing with us @ My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party!

    Jessica
    The Wondering Brain

    Reply
  7. Jessica

    Oh my goodness! How scary! Glad you and your family are ok. Your account of it is so funny. :)

    Reply
  8. Foster

    Scary. Good advice. I’m glad everyone is ok. I went through the tornado thing in Texas a couple of times. It didn’t sound as bad as this, however.

    Reply
  9. Gina

    So glad you are o.k.!! As I read it I knew you had been through a tornado or 2; hope you are done with tornadoes for awhile now!! I will keep you Oklahomans in my prayers and feel free to drop by for a shower or to charge your phone or to use the Internet!!

    Reply
  10. Sue @ A Colourful Canvas

    {Gak!} Naive me thought this post was a What If…. But you’ve actually been in the throes of extreme weather! Oh heavens, stay safe Amy. You must have nerves of steel, and you sound like such a rock for your family. Take care!

    Big cyber hugs, Sue xo

    Reply
  11. Angela Bullard

    It’s good that we can have a sense of humor about it :). We went to a friend’s house so we could get in their cellar if needed and somehow the husband locked the dogs AND the keys in the car. Talk about freaking out since we were right on Council!

    Reply
  12. Ashley

    Hi my name is Ashley and I am stopping by from the Aloha Friday Blog Hop. I am a Creative Graphics & Web Designer as well as an avid blogger. We would love it if you would stop by our blog/website at: http://www.ashleychapmandesigns.com/

    Thanks so much.

    Ashley

    Reply
  13. Pam

    Oh, Amy, you certainly know how to lighten a terrible situation. Hugs from the land Down Under. xxx

    Reply
  14. Lisa Nelson

    Excellent Amy! Excellent tips!

    I grew up in Minnesota – and we had tornadoes as well. Even though we have been close, we never had to go through one. These are excellent tips that everyone should see.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply
  15. ingrid@nowathomemom

    oh! sorry to hear this! I hope you and your family are good and safe! see you in a couple of days my friend! take care! & funny picture about those stuffed animals in your bathtub! :-)

    Reply

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